September 20, Proverbs 16
The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious, and adds persuasiveness to his words. - Proverbs 16:21,23
We all practice the art of persuasion. We persuade a friend to try a recipe or understand our position on some issue. We use persuasion to get a child to cooperate sooner and easier with our parental guidance. Managers persuade workers to stay on task and reach production goals. Even preachers are persuaders. Paul used words like "beseech" and "implore" to describe his efforts to get people to put their faith in Christ and surrender their lives to the Lord.
Persuasion has a bad reputation because some people use persuasive techniques for selfish manipulation of others. Politicians make lots of big promises to get more votes. Very often, candidates promise more than they can do or intend to do, just to get elected. Salespeople use pressure tactics and emotional manipulation to close a sale. We resent being persuaded by someone who cares more about our money or our vote more than they care about us.
Our twin texts today teach two important keys to making our persuasive efforts more effective. If the goals of our persuasive efforts are honorable, I hope these ideas will make us better communicators and persuaders.
The first key to increased persuasiveness is called "sweetness of speech." This is the truth behind the folk wisdom that "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." Verse 24 has the same idea: "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Mary Poppins was right: "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." It's more persuasive to speak in a pleasant tone of voice with a friendly manner. When we feel strongly about some matter, we may raise our voice, but shouting tends to make what we're saying less persuasive, not more. When we are passionate (maybe angry) about what we discussing, we might lace our persuasion with a threat. But doing so actually works against our goal of persuading the other person. Our associates are likely to raise their guard and be even more suspicious of our motives when they feel threatened.
We can also increase our persuasiveness by weighing our words. Verse 21 says, "The wise of heart is called discerning," and verse 23 puts it, "The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious, and adds persuasiveness to his words." You and I will be more effective communicators and persuaders when we weigh our words before we speak. We should consider how our words are going to affect the other party in the discussion. We need to think ahead and consider the impact of both what we say and how we say it. When I try to persuade someone and feel like I failed, I often go back and think about the words I used. I probably need to do more of that thinking before speaking than afterward. Our words have power for good or bad, to bless or curse. We're responsible for what we say, and we'd better think carefully about it, especially when we're trying to persuade someone else.
It seems to me the Golden Rule would be a good guide to help us improve our persuasion by applying these techniques. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Don't I prefer sweetness of speech to rude, hateful pressure? Don't I wish people would think before saying things that are hurtful and discouraging to me? Of course I do. And so you and I should test our persuasive attempts with some forethought about whether we'd be convinced by someone telling us the same thing in the same way.
I hope these two powerful techniques will be helpful to you. I remind to use your new persuasive power as a good superhero would — only and always for good and not evil.
Copyright © 2021 by Michael B. McElroy. Used
by permission. All rights reserved.
Today in God's Word—September 2024
East Tallassee Church of Christ
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